Tuesday, April 30

[ DAN IS BACK!!! ]

Hello All... The ever greatest Dan the Man has finally finished his examinations... 6 papers all together... really quite shag... although the effort put in is still the same... slack... but the 6 papers really tire me out... hehe... I would summarize my exams as... started & ended quite ok... as for the middle part... just hope for the best... hehe... anyway I am back into the arms of Vizinity... tats more impt rite? hehe... (actually I still left my footprints in all of Viz's post rite? haha...) hmm... time to catch up with friends... drink kopi... play pool... watch movies... go karaoke... go cheonging... etc etc... who is free to accompany me? but all these need money... sigh... should I go look for a job or slack again? or should I go look for a gf instead? haha... anyone got any job lobang must inform me kay? got gal lobang also can inform me too... haha...

Should I? or Should I not?

Sunday, April 28

[ My Library visit ]

It has been years since i stepping into a National library.. but due to a recently vocation requirement.. the moment has come under no option to visit one.

Old images of library in the end 1980s and early 1990s floated through my mind when the familar tinted sliding doors spreaded apart.. no signs of uncle class security guards that were once the curse of itchy hands. They were replaced by the panels of aluminium soldered with technolgy that erect at both the entrance and exit.

No more bags depositing counter, replaced by coin operating lockers.. no more gantres along the path to the shelves.. and bags are now allowed in the library!? I remember those time when we have to "smuggle" books or papers under our uniform into the library. hahah.. now the WHOLE bag is no big deal. (surprise)

Heard from the news long time ago and i understand that borrowing process are fully automatic now, no more queuing for the yellow cards to be date stamped and no more secondary checking by uncles and aunties before we exit the library. (surprise surprise)

Made my way up to the adult section, first thing that i headed for is the OPAC. i was totally whelmed by the changes.. what was previously greenish montone display and yellow half-working keyboard is now replaced by LCD monitors and coloured graphical interface.. the using of the mouse can be consider revolutionary for OPAC. hehe.. searching for books is so user-friendly now (though still can be improved) with all the buttons and clicking functions.. (surprise surprise surprise)

Tables seems to take on a secondary species status.. gone were those days where large pool of tables are located at every section. They are now replaced by the sparsely distributed benches among the shelves. So i began my search for books.. sat down on one of those benches, read on.. Found the book i wanted and it's time to borrow the book.

I'm a total virgin to the macho borrowing monster. No operating manual was retreived from my memory bank.. still, a guy must still do wat a guy need to do. Braving myself to the machine, almost felt intimated by the machine when i scanned for helpful signs. Found it. the sign shows, "Press '1' to begin", ok, not too difficult after all i thought. next was to place my library card or NRIC card at the left corner of the machine. ok fine, still manageable. Now, the tricky part. With the card still in place, move the book over the card and wait for reading. done that, nothing happen. or was tat suppose to be something happening? a sign or wat?, i thought. but the machine was cool, staring right back at me, doing nothing.

i heard printing sound from other machines, that's when i know i should receive a receipt. not wanting to look stupid for too long, i headed downstairs with an intention to tackle another machine. that's when i noticed that the machinei was using was meant for video borrowing.. *ouch!*

I copied the suite of actions to the machine downstairs now (after confirming nature of machine). Still, nothing happens?! Tried again, earth stood still. Not wanting to play games with it, i took the book and just head for the exit. and expectedly, the alarm went crazy and i almost heard, "Hey idiot! dunno how to use the machines har?". *moment* ok, as composed and charming as i can be, i approached one of the librarians who was obviously wondering which planet i was by now. i confessed my little "boycott" from libraries and that the machines do not like me. She was kind enough to show me the way, and to me, it is THE way. hahah..

So, happily and embarrassingly, i went through the panels again. Quiet. ok, that's my little adventure.

Saturday, April 27

[ Miss ]

i've been missing post and time just flew pass me so fast that i didn't even have time to smell it... really true.. recently engaged in a project in work.. lots of reading up and analysis to do..

and well.. i'm really running out of anything intelligent to type here.. just wishing everyone out there the every best and to those having exams (like Liz).. may you pass with flying colours!

Wednesday, April 24

[ Releasing stress ]

Heard over the radio when i'm on cab this afternoon.. saying that writing feelings on website helps in stress management.. and well.. probably that's why i'm still posting for all these years.. to friends who started with me in on my very post on 9th Dec 1999.. it has been a long way.. and hopefully i'm not the only staying sane..

anyway.. the 5th news of another departing soul reached my ears early this morning.. a close of of mine who lost her loved one. i'm heart goes out to her and really.. may God shower her and her family with strength, courage and endless blessings..

After a series of such cases.. if there's anything i can learn from is that to treasure the people around me.. especially those we have taken them for granted (parents) and love us more than we can give back..

life is not a permanent presence.. but a temporary test of the ability to love.. let not your life goes without love.

Tuesday, April 23

[ Heavy Heart ]

I'm writing this post with a heavy heart.. just received another news of a departing soul.. this is the 4th of such news.. i shalln't comment more on it anymore.. i can only pray..

Anyway.. *sigh*.. will be posting again.. its just too depressing... dun get me wrong, i'm alright folks..

Monday, April 22

[ My Condolences again ]

yes.. one more sad new of one departing soul.. *sigh*.. i can't believe it.. within the short span of TWO days.. *err*.. *deep breathe*.. May God bless the souls..

Anyway, i'm still in office.. yup. working rather late tonight.. things are picking up here in office (i hope) .. and boy.. it is not easy to start anything.. i'm just like a headless fly.. knocking on every wall possible.. but i believe that i will learn and all these will not last.. pray that i will grow stronger through every "knock" .. :)

time still to stand still when u work alone in the office.. the scene outside the windows are blanket by darkness now.. decorated by the far away lights from the sea.. blasting away the MP3 from westlife.. i'm hungry.. and i dun think i make any sense when i'm hungry.. ya.. i told u.

Sunday, April 21

[ My Condolences ]

Sad news leak themselves in when u least expected.. two of my friends, loved ones passed away on the same day yesterday.. May Lord give strength to the family members who are alive and grieving... and may the souls of the departed rest in eternal peace..

WRCD is finally over.. i could really feel that piece of burden lifted of my back.. i'm able to smile again.. hehehe.. but thinking of the mountainous amount of work awaiting for me tomolo.. my heart chilled.. time has never seems to be enough nowadays.. 24 hrs swept pass like 24 seconds.. before i can digest today.. the scent of tomolo can already be sensed.. *sigh*.. sometimes i wonder..

Recently, a few of my friends.. and i mean a handful of them came up to me and you know, talk to me.. saying that they noticed through my eyes a sense of sorrow, despair and uncertainty.. oh well.. i thought everything was fine.. but deeper reflection revealed to myself that i'm indeed under tremenously amount of stress from work and is fighting everything and everyday to survived through it.. my sense of focus is also weakening due to the increase number of events that demands attention... hmm.. and te list could go on..

i thank you all my friends and those who have shown concern to my well being.. really touched.. probably i will take some rest soon.. ya.. thanks all and chill.. monday awaits.



Friday, April 19

[ TGIF ]

I'm now working from my notebook at home. ahhh.. the week finally ended.. this week has been quite a struggle for myself.. after returning to work from my 1 week leave this monday, this week is a week of catching up with the backlogs and adapt to the stressful lifestyle again.. lots of agressive marketing and promotion coming up for the next one month.. results must be shown.. my career is at stake.. no time for those things of non-importance..

*deep breathe*.. tomolo.. tomolo is a long day..

my dear dear Liz is not feeling well and seems to be falling sick.. must be those toasted bread, crackers and late nights.. hehe.. take care dear! This is not the time to fall sick.. drink more water..

chill

Wednesday, April 17

[ so long ]

and yes, either the domain is cranking or blogger is.. have been trying so hard to post (by clicking buttons) .. hehehe

yup.. my exams are over!! (Finally) .. hmm.. shouldn't have any problem in passing.. hehehe.. finally, i'm done for my Advanced Dip.. what is next?.. should i shift to sales? marketing? business? or should i continue the pursuit for my "Beh Chia Lor Ae Sai" .. (Bachelor of Science). decisions decisions decisions... but anyway, would like to concenrate on my career and investments now.. hehe..

chill everyone!

Tuesday, April 16

[ Nothing else matters ]

Yes.. i'm heart is dead.. i'm certain of it.. my heart is dead.. like occy had said.. RC is just a volunteer mission.. Dun like it.. dun volunteer.. and yes.. i'm heart and passion are dead.. volunteerism is so different from the time i start with.. people nowa days are so childish and not mission oriented.. they are always more concern about how they themselves feel about things.. selfish f**kers.. is it true that the world is turning into a selfish bowl? i dunno.. but i'm sure RCY is.. though i hope that RCY will strive and progess.. with people like that within the society.. it will be a question.. if everyone is so concern and so easily agitated by small trivial issues.. the more they are concern of our remarks.. little did they know that it reflect much more on they protective stand that is sooooo sensitive and immature.. . how do we expect them to contribute in bigger stuffs?.. *sigh*.. its time.let them go and fight and pick on all these... i'm dun give a flying f**k about it.. once i'm done.. i'm gone.. there are more important things in life.. and why it took me so long to know..

Friday, April 12

[ Early morning ]

I'm awake in the early morning with a mission.. a mission to study!.. my reservist is done after the 3 days of idling as trainer. and now, i'm left with little time for my exams preparation.. the level of stress is escalating as the minute hand click away. I must pass this module in order to complete my Advanced Diploma.. its judgement day. yup.

Tuesday, April 9

[ I promised not to post... yah... my revision is doing fine... but I am as utterly disgusted & tired as Viz... ]

7 years of volunteerism... although 2 years lesser than Viz... but we have the same routine of spending our valuable weekends on activities that we once had strong belief & interest in... activities that once brought close friends together... where passing down knowledge back to the younger ones keeps us enthusiastic & going... but what happened now? systems change... politics come in... fakeness comes in... unfairness comes in... all these are inevitable & are part of reality... but it really saddens us to be in this kind of situation... Volunteerism does not have its meaning anymore... gone were those days... now I just wanna be free from all these stuffs... & get back my weekends doing more meaningful stuffs... let those power players do wat they want.... I just dun give a f**king damn anymore... my heart is dead...

okie... shall disappear again for my revisions... feels good letting my bottled up feelings out...

"All things are not as easy as they seems..."

[ I'm utterly disgusted and tired ]

I'm utterly disgusted at the immaturity and ignorance of human can get.. drilling through their incomplete knowledge in some profound profession and trying to bore a hole in other people's head! I'm disgusted by the countless vocal and written spears, armed with poisonous pride that target at unintending hearts . Just how easy can a job of volunteer gets?! All the politics are draining enough.. all the power struggle and in fightings are terrible enough.. all the 9 years of leisure weekends sweat through the courses and events are painful enough.. and what the f**k does everybody want?! ... i'm tired.. i'm already carrying the package from work.. studies and dun even have time for family.. love ones and friends.. i'm tired.. with my exams just around the corner.. of all things i need.. i dun have PEACE.

-terms and conditions-
This message is posted intentionally in the effort of releasing supressed emotions that was canned wholly for 9 years. All characters involved are non-fictitious and were mentioned in deliberate purpose. The author will not be responsibility for all the melancholy caused by misintepretation due to inexorable puerility. If any character was to claim damage against the author due to the above message, the author advise the individual to seek for professional help from the nearest clinic or zoo (either one will work only), as apology is not a cure for a deluded mental state of mind.
---Read on only when you agree to the terms and conditions ---

Oh, then again... wtf right?

Ahhhh... time to chill off..

Monday, April 8

[ Nope, its not ]

Now, this is uncommon. I'm posting twice in a day. hehehe..

i'm still scouching under the examination heat.. the progess is too slow and i'm getting slowly baked with mental fatigue.

Nonetheless, the spirit is still going on..

tomorrow will be the start of my three days ICT.. kinda dread it this time round as my exams are fighting for attention too.. *sigh*..

Anyway, will be back soon.. chill.

[ Last post ? ]

yes.. i'm gonna go on my study spree too.. hahah.. wired calling it a spree.. but anyway.. my exams are really just around the corner and with great misfortune.. my reservist which was suppose to start today was last mintue (and i'm talking about last night) postpone to tomolo!?.. sigh.. this means.. my exam preparation has less days to start with..

hmm.. so! for thi week onwards till the 15th Apr.. i'm detaching myself from the cumblsome of Red Cross and Work.. and hibernate within the mountain of books and past year papers.. and its raining hard over here... feel like sleeping.. but nah!.. study!!!

Thursday, April 4

[ Last post ... ]

familiar topic? hehe... well... have been abit stressed & quite tired these few days... rushing my preparation for tutorial presentations & projects... finished 2 presentations today too... tomolo will mark the end of my last project presentation for this semester... my last project will hopefully be completed by this weekend... & finally... I can start my revision for exams... hehe... time is running out for me... shall try my very best to concentrate on the 2 weeks of revision ahead... before I try to get my first As from any of my 6 papers... hopefully no first tabao for me too... hehe... pray for me people... hmm... shall try to go online less often too... haha... okie... wun be posting till my exams are over... so dun miss me ya? hehe... take care all... btw... any quiet, cosy, nice & suitable place for studying?

Dan will disappear from Vizinity from today onwards till his exams are over......

[ four days lapse ]

it has been so long since i last made my mark in vizinity. *beeeeeep* my pocket PC is reminding me with a couple of events for the day.. ah.. today is one of the busiest day of the week.. at least 8 events lined up..

anyway, the past few days were good for me.. i devote myself to my work and shift my emotions to focus on positive stuffs.. and indeed.. the days ahead seem to get brighter.. thanks God for all and my friends (especially Liz) who stood by me all these while.. and hey Vogue! miss you too.. gonna catch up with you and talk about your adventure in KL. hahaha.. heard lots about it. hehehe..

ok, time is short for all the things that can happen.. chill.. and yea.. the chill is back!

Monday, April 1

[ Some things are just not worth the effort anymore... ]

Hello all... I am finally back after disappearing for 3 days... anyone miss me? I doubt so... nvm... anyway I am always unappreciated... hehe... well... lets tok more on my topic... hmm... when we started out on doing certain things... it must have been for a certain cause... it may also be a shared goal or interest among friends that gets us enthusiastic... fun it might be in the beginning... & less stressful... we r focused on wat we want to do... but as we moved on... circumstances change... doing the same things might make us lose our interest... greater responsibilities will set in... red tape & politics may start to restrict our normal culture of doing things... misunderstandings, unhappiness & frustrations may then result... this is when we start to ask ourselves... are these things still worth the effort? why must we subject ourselves to all these unhappiness? u may say tat this is just escaping from the problem... but sometimes escaping is the best way rather than confronting the problem... so to escape or not... its your choice... but as I say... some things are just not worth the effort anymore... :)

Life is all about making decisions. Live by your decisions."